On being flexible

Attending the ACT Bootcamp and other updates

It has been over a year since I wrote something here. Where did the time go? When I first started this newsletter, I hoped to send out a post a month. I succeeded I think for three months. But if there’s something I’ve learnt, it’s about being flexible. Sometimes, I haven’t found the words to write. Other times, I’ve had other priorities with writing or seeing clients and helping people in that manner. It happens. Life happens. And it’s okay.

The ACT Bootcamp, Denver, CO

In November last year, I signed up to attend the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Bootcamp in Denver, Colorado from 1st to 4th of May 2025. Yes, I was that eager! You see, early last year, I decided I wanted to become a better ACT therapist and my clinical supervisor suggested attending courses with the founder and early pioneers of ACT themselves. Since I couldn’t afford to last year, I decided to focus on reading and self-learning. This year, however, I wanted to prioritise going to the bootcamp.

But, I hadn’t foreseen the changing political climate. About a month or so before the conference, I began to feel anxious. I was reading about people being detained at the U.S. border, or others being sent back home. And then there was me - a brown woman, who despite my Australian passport, could potentially be at risk. I contemplated cancelling everything. But then, I applied the tenets of ACT to myself. I was attending this conference to become a better therapist so I could help my clients better. Yes, I was afraid. But was I willing to have that fear, do what was in my control, and still attempt to go?

I decided I was. Of course, I took all the necessary precautions (travel insurance, printing out all the documents about the conference, my accommodation, my tickets, not posting anything on social media) and focussed on what mattered to me.

In the end, I was fortunate to get through. Not without any anxiety. And sure enough, at border security in the U.S, I was asked for evidence of my conference and my return tickets which were both deemed satisfactory to let me through. I could then properly relax.

Attending the ACT Bootcamp was a great choice. It was four days of learning and immersing myself in the ACT space with Steven Hayes (yes, the founder himself), Robyn Walser, Miranda Morris and Diana Hill. All incredible psychologists and ACT therapists and trainers themselves, imparting their knowledge and wisdom to us all. It validated so much of what I am learning through ACT and especially, trying to move away from just treating an individual as their diagnosis but rather, another human being.

When we are first trained in psychology, we are taught to formulate and then to apply evidence based treatments for those specific disorders. ACT on the other hand is so much more accessible. It doesn’t view the person as broken but rather, as stuck. And don’t we all get stuck at different points in our lives? I know I have been!

If you are not broken, you don’t need to be fixed. But if you are stuck, as an ACT therapist (and as someone who sees ACT as a way of life), I can help you get unstuck.

The aim of ACT is to build psychological flexibility and we do that by building cognitive flexibility, emotional flexibility, attentional flexibility, having a flexible sense of self, understanding our values, and engaging in committed behaviours flexibly. All of this occurs within each individual’s context which is why, it’s not a one size fits all approach.

I finished the four days with my mind buzzing and my heart full.

The long road home

When I wrapped up the conference, little did I know I’d be putting into practice being flexible very soon. On my way home, I made it to my connecting flight in San Francisco just as they started boarding. It was stressful as the flight from Denver was 50 minutes late. The flight back to Sydney seemed great. I had an entire row to myself and settled in for the night and the long haul back.

But then, as we were taxiing off, we stopped. Eventually, we were told about some technical difficulties, then were asked to disembark, and were finally told our flight was cancelled. Cue: stress.

I've never been in a situation like this before. But eventually, despite feeling anxious, tired and hungry (it was a night flight), standing in line to get flights and accommodation sorted, I managed to get through. I focussed on what I could control there - almost nothing other than what I said and did. I connected with another traveller heading home to Sydney. Eventually, we got to a hotel together after navigating the maze that was San Francisco airport and checked in at 4 am local time. Thanks to this new connection, I also managed to get a decent flight back home, 24 hours after the cancelled flight. And, this new friend and I tried to spend a few hours during the day finding excellent coffee in SFO, a bookstore, and a wonderful lookout.

All this is to say, while I felt all the feelings, and allowed myself to feel it, I also focussed on what I could do. I could have just stayed in my hotel room. I could have gone inwards and not spoken to anyone, not connected at the airport in the long, dreary line. I could’ve held on to beliefs about myself about being independent and not needing to ask for help. And things wouldn’t have worked out the way they did.

Things don’t always go to plan and yet, by being flexible, you make of them what you can.

I hope from this experience and from my learnings at the conference, I can be a better therapist and a better human, flawed and all.

Until next time!